East Los Angeles Dirigible Air Transport

Reply to these positions by calling the main office, ask for Sergio. If he is not there, hang up and call right back and ask again for Sergio. Tell them you know he is there.
Or, get tamales from the lady in front of Alhambra Market and show up at the abandoned hangar in Burbank and help get real work done.

At this time we are in need of air stewardesses to take tickets and strap passengers, particularly unruly ones, into their seats. Red Cross first aid certified preferred.

At this time we are in need of high energy dispatcher with a “good voice” (that’s what Swirling said, maybe he means like “articulate” I don’t know), like the last person, who did it with red hair. She used to sit around reading what she called “F*** books.” She said, bring her some from the drugstore. She was highly efficient but has moved on to get married in Kansas City, etc.

Also: we are in need of a recycler. We are a green company. You tell us. We are looking at the sun studying solar power.

At this moment we are in need of people to go out back and chop the weeds. It’s hard to tie down the airships when you got weeds to your knees.

At this moment we are in need of people to go to the car dealership and borrow their hot dog stand and set it up front of the Dirigible Air Transport Lines HQ quonset hut thingy, blast that Cafe Tacuba over the PA and get people buying tickets!

Also, who can build or repair dirigibles out of salvaged supermarket type materials, cardboard rolls, newspaper, papier mache, duct tape, inner tubes, truck tires, and aluminum? We call that position MAINTENANCE ENGINEER.

And also there is a continual need of rounding up people supposed to be working in the building, in the abandoned building in Burbank next to Burbank airport, with the fabric flapping out of vacant windows, and the quonset hut in East Los Angeles, in other words, OFFICE MANAGER. Because the office is in separate parts in Burbank and El Sereno hills (sometimes clandestine locations as necessary) driver’s license needed. We will provide this Office Manager with weapons, magazines, furniture, calendars, everything.

ALL QUALIFIED APPLICANTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO APPLY EQUAL OPPORTUNITY especially for the position of Company Poet-Philosopher Visionary to explain to us how dirigible air transport, hard on the heels of the new millenium, at the END OF THE AUTOMOBILE ERA, promises us a new dawn of rising hopeful sun rays amidst the current blasted environment, Katrina-like ruins of squandered generations and decades of debacle, economic wasteland of debilitated greed, etc. Apply now.