You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2013.

freedom is the recognition of necessity

—engels, anti-duhring


the palm trees of the san gabriel valley must always look stern and stoic and a little sad like foreigners doing their duty far from home

the cardboard box must be set out at the curb, festooned with a bit of colored paper on top

citizens must wave at each other, wash their cars, or drive away

the pleasant elderly woman in the vietnamese restaurant with a face wrinkled by pleasure must answer her cell phone and say,

“how are you? i am here with my friends, we are eating. we are very well, we stayed at your house last night.

you’ll be home tomorrow? yes, i am leaving today…”

the other parties in the vietnamese restaurant must look so endearing—

the woman closes out her phone call, “yes, thank you. i love you too.”

i must look at these people to muse about them and a woman must watch me as i rise to leave

outside the san gabriel mission two small girls must run back and forth at the fountain

the woman must lie on the grass watching them, earplugs in, tapping her ipod

she must yawn

she must have that look on her face

the football team must do a poor job washing my vehicle at their carwash fundraiser

the teens must be fooling around, slacking off and not half of them doing their jobs

the assistant big roly-poly coach must not even pay attention, instead spend his time jibing his young charges,

saying things such as, “I could be at a UCLA spring training game today,” and, “You are a homosexual.

That means you like members of the same sex.” he must say this—

—i had to give them $10—

brilliance of sunshine must pour down like joycean literary figurative snow on all the living and dead

in a half an hour i must drive down valley blvd to attend the memorial for cesar who died a week and a half ago

(colon cancer, he did die as we must)

over all, the sky must pour implacably, brilliance

bunker hill


yes i agree with marina’s assessment that changes are underway, and have been for some time, that can’t be fixed in the short run.


ronald reagan become president when marina was born, and he represented the politics (and economic policies) that have ruled for the past 30 years; certainly we and others of our generation have resisted these politics and policies for our whole adult lives to try and give you a better world than the shit they are handing you—endless wars, money for killing via unmanned drones but not for schools or kids or art or trains or bridges, fewer civil rights instead of more, fewer chances of a good life instead of more, closures of libraries state parks schools university programs and possibilities for a better more positive life for millions. instead the u.s. has the most people in prison of any country in the world and a steadily declining quality of life.


but we and our friends protested against all these policies year after year and against all the wars that spent all the money that could have gone to make the world better. we organized organizations, traveled to war zones, marched in the streets, wrote editorials and letters to the editor and poems and graffitti, spoke on campuses and elsewhere, made money and posters and gave money to causes and groups, got arrested and got harassed and got burnt out  and we did all these things personally, for you—otherwise the goddamn situation would be even worse, sorry to say.


the right wing movement worked for 3 decades to achieve these crimes, disasters, assassinations and messes: massive corruption of the financial system, economic devastation and stagnation for your generation, a future messed up, corrupted, ruined for many many millions of people. it won’t get better until your whole generation realizes they have to do something about it. it’s worldwide—there’s nowhere to run and hide (rick went to slovenia, and he said the same thing is happening there; and he’s unemployed with 2 young kids to raise).


if it took decades long for them to make this mess, it’ll take a long time for others to fix, so no rush. but something needs to be done, obviously. that’s life—that’s what being part of history means, that history affects your life, and you become part of the history that you make.

that’s why it matters if you live your life to make a difference, (love),


Juan Fish imperium, all dialogue verbatim:

Just now, walking down E 7th Street on my way to tiny little cramped old world east village public library (two stories of wrought-iron stacks in a narrow tenement building) where I am now sitting, I passed two aging British hipsters talking and couldn’t help but hear one (50-ish, long graying hair, beard, earrings, tweed cap) saying. “Juan Fish, F-I-S-H, it says on both sides of the door, it would be a crime to paint over that.”



sadness of the girl walking home after school, past the gas station into the entry of her apartment complex, which extends uphill like old-fashioned los angeles hillside apartments.
sadness of the girl entering the steel security gate which is always open.
sadness of the burnt out boarded over clapboard old house next door, abandoned for years; now it has ragged black holes in the roof.
sadness of franco auto repair next door to that, closed and abandoned, boys have smashed the office door and ransacked the place.
sadness of the twins, two sisters only talking to each other walking up city terrace drive past the elementary school home after school.
sadness of two deaths in two weeks, walking like two legs of death back and forth across my world. two legs of death walking across the world.
sadness of kids walking home after school in the bright wind.

pacific electric viaduct el sereno


Part 6, “nonexistent country,” in Caliban 11

go to:

camp ufo


[…Ray spent over a year in the streets of post-1972 earthquake Managua, till his mom or his brother sent him money to return. 

Ray brought his third wife, Tina, back to Calif.

Ray and Tina were together for several years in Carmel, Fairfield and Vacaville. 

Ray abandoned his car in an orchard, quit his job and threw away his suit. 

Tina gave Ray an ultimatum. 

When I’d give Nacho a ride downtown late in the evening, he’d usually tell me to drop him at a bus stop so he could take the bus. 

I told Nacho it was easy for me to drop him at his place. 

Nacho said that once when he was living on Cannery Row in Monterey, there was a knock at the door and it was Jimmy Cagney, asking to borrow a corkscrew. 

Edward Weston wrote his journal in the 1920s that he met a young Mexican, Ignacio Bravo at a party and he was an excellent dancer.

Nacho’s second wife said she could not imagine Nacho dancing…]

Claires: a big pile of dirty dishes:

Cotton On: I washed the dirty dishes:

CR Jewelers Diamond Outlet: a drinking glass slipped out of my hand:

Disney Store Outlet: I grabbed for it but it shattered:

Fossil (Temporarily closed for Construction): a shard stabbed the center of my right palm:

Gap Outlet: bleeding in the sink, I lifted out pieces of broken glass:

Guess? Accessories: sharp forms and shapes obscured:

Hot Topic: shards of glass hidden in bubbles and suds:

Kenneth Cole Outlet Store: to drain the suds I reached into the drain:

Kids Foot Locker: found more pieces there:

LACOSTE Outlet: one piece sliced open my fingertip:

Lids: paper towels in both hands, I went to type this:

Marc Ecko Cut & Sew Outlet: blood on the porcelain:

NikeFactoryStore: palm fronds torn off by the wind storm:

Old Navy: scattered in the street:

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH: a possum run over by a car:

Solstice Sunglass Outlet: bloody, shaking, unable to walk, trying to rise:

Spencers: a chihuahua sitting between lanes of traffic:

Sunglass Hut: a palm frond hanging in a tree

Tillys: a palm frond hanging on an electrical wire:

BCBGMAXAZRIA: forgotten lizards, all dried up in bottles placed on the fence line:

Coach Factory Store: dead newborn rabbits in the cage with the rabbit chewing a hole in its own breast:

Icing by Claires: dead rabbit with ants on it:

SGH Sunglass Hut: dog’s body lying a long time against the median:

Tommy Bahama Outlet: dog’s body swelling a long time under the underpass:

Zena Hats: the palm frond wasn’t a dog’s body:

Sanrio: two men lying in the avenue at night:

Spencers: the motorcycle lodged underneath a car:

Cotton On: clusters of bystanders, some with cell phones

The Childrens Place Outlet: a man on his back in the center lane of the freeway:

abercrombie Outlet: blood shining and broken glass at night:

Burlington Coat Factory: large pickup truck stopped at his head:

Carters: who is dead in the Rolodex:

Disney Store Outlet: the names are not dead:

Gap Outlet: the dead numbers:

Gymboree Outlet: which numbers:

H&M: papers that must be thrown away:

Journeys Kidz: things you must discard:

Justice: these must be discarded:

Kids Foot Locker: “shelf-life”: because:

Marshalls: it must move: or desist:

NikeFactoryStore: pig valve attached to heart:

Nordstrom Rack: titanium valve implanted in heart:

Old Navy: the hotel was blown up but Margaret Thatcher wasn’t in it:

OshKosh BGosh: even though she handed over the cash, the robber shot the girl through the neck:

Polo Ralph Lauren: she’s paraplegic at 18:

Rainforest Cafe: I kicked the teen karate kid in his chest:

The Childrens Place: he tried to block with one hand:

Tillys: the blow dislocated his middle finger:

Tommy Hilfiger: which doubled back from the middle joint:

Via Havana: Israeli artillery blew up 106 civilians at a Red Cross station:

Bed Bath & Beyond: in Qana, southern Lebanon, injuring hundreds more:

Burlington Coat Factory: “It doesn’t matter,” the old man sighed:

Gap Outlet: I dreamed it was like before:

Group USA Clothing Company: by that I mean like we had things between us:

JCPenney Outlet Store: not like now:

Marshalls: now there’s very little:

Nordstrom Rack: we let it go:

Off Broadway Shoe Warehouse: then you awaken:

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH: there’s some relief:

Sam Ash Music: because it’s no longer like that:

The Childrens Place: you’re not stuck there:

Akoo | Social Music Television: but:

Build A Bear Workshop: it’s not like that now:

Dave & Busters: rust-colored blood:

GameWorks: Cesar died yesterday of colon cancer:

Improv Comedy Club & Dinner Theatre: I’ll see his ex-wife at work:

Rainforest Cafe: his two little girls will be there I expect:

AMC 30 Theatres: I stuffed the serrated blades of the fronds till the container was full:

Kamiyama Sushi at Market Broiler: one night through the open window, a moth flew into the inside of the light fixture:

tuttimelon: the next day it was gone:

Bath & Body Works: some things occur like unheard music:

Bed Bath & Beyond: some things are lives going on in other rooms:

Carlton Hair Salon and Day Spa: they move:

Designer Fragrances & Cosmetics Co. Lancome: move:

Estee Lauder Company Store (Inside Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH): “BRAKE SERVICE” letters lit from behind all night:

Fragrance Outlet: dry palm fronds ripped off and flying in a high wind at night:



Nail Trix


Planet Beauty

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH

Vitamin World

Bed Bath & Beyond

Bed Bath & Beyond


Burlington Coat Factory

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH

Sleep Number by Select Comfort

Tommy Bahama Outlet

Warehouse Furniture Outlet

CR Jewelers Diamond Outlet

Burlington Coat Factory


CR Jewelers Diamond Outlet

Daniels Jewelers

Fossil (Temporarily closed for Construction)

Grand Jewelers


Premier Fine Jewelry Direct

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH

Shemoni Jewelry

Tic Time Watch Repair

Ultra Diamonds

Zales The Diamond Store Outlet

Coach Factory Store

Kenneth Cole Outlet Store

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH

COACH Mens Factory

Cotton On

J.Crew Factory

Abercrombie & Fitch Outlet


American Eagle Outfitters

Anchor Blue

Banana Republic Factory Store

Burlington Coat Factory

Calvin Klein



ecko unltd.

Foreign Exchange

Fossil (Temporarily closed for Construction)

Gap Outlet

GUESS Factory Store


Hollister Co. Outlet

Hot Topic

Inland Board Shop

J.Crew Factory


Kenneth Cole Outlet Store

Levis Outlet Store


Marc Ecko Cut & Sew Outlet



Nordstrom Rack

Oakley Vault

Old Navy


Polo Ralph Lauren

Quiksilver Factory Store

Rainforest Cafe

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH



Tommy Bahama Outlet

Tommy Hilfiger

U.S. Polo Assn.

Wilsons Leather Outlet


J.Crew Factory


Calvin Klein

Fossil (Temporarily closed for Construction)

Hugo Boss Factory Store




Sean John Factory Store



Diamond Wireless



Electronics Boutique

Sam Ash Music

Optical / Eyewear


Oakley Vault

SGH Sunglass Hut

Solstice Sunglass Outlet

Sunglass Hut

Brueggers Bagels

Burger King


Everything Yogurt & Salad Cafe


Jody Maronis

Kamiyama Sushi at Market Broiler

Kellys Cajun Grill

Kenny Rogers Roasters

La Salsa Fresh Mexican Grill

Panda Express

Sbarro The Italian Eatery


Wetzels Pretzels

Dave & Busters

Improv Comedy Club & Dinner Theatre

Market Broiler

Rainforest Cafe

C&C Market Research

Foreign Currency Exchange

Ontario Mills Management Office

Ontario Mills Security

Ontario Police Department Mills Station

Cotton On

Aldo + K!DS

Bakers Outlet


Burlington Coat Factory

Charlotte Russe

Clarks Bostonian


Famous Footwear Outlet

Finish Line

Foot Locker

J.Crew Factory


Journeys Kidz

Kenneth Cole Outlet Store

Kids Foot Locker

Love D


Nine West

Nordstrom Rack

Off Broadway Shoe Warehouse

Payless ShoeSource

Robert Wayne Footwear

Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH

Shiekh Shoes

Shoe Palace



Spaza Shoes

stride rite, keds, sperry Factory Store

The Childrens Place


Tommy Bahama Outlet

V Generation

Vans Outlet

Auntie Annes

Auntie Annes

Bananas Ultimate Juice Bar


Haagen Dazs

Kamiyama Sushi at Market Broiler

Nestle Toll House Cafe

Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory

Starbucks Coffee

Sweet Factory

The Cheesecake Factory Bakery Cafe

Betsey Johnson Outlet

All Flags & Sports

Hat Club



Pro Image

Rainforest Cafe

Security & Spy Outlet

Sleep Number by Select Comfort


The Raider Image


Via Havana


Finish Line

Foot Locker


Kids Foot Locker


Pro Image

Build A Bear Workshop

Disney Store Outlet

Electronics Boutique


Betsey Johnson Outlet

Foreign Exchange

J.Crew Factory


aerie by American Eagle Outfitters

American Eagle Outfitters

Anchor Blue

Ann Taylor Factory Store


bebe Outlet

Calvin Klein

Charlotte Russe

Closet Signature


Forever 21

Fossil (Temporarily closed for Construction)

Fredericks of Hollywood



Oakley Vault

Old Navy





Torrid Plus Sizes

V Generation

Wet Seal


aerie by American Eagle Outfitters

Fredericks of Hollywood

Group USA Clothing Company

Leggs Hanes Bali Playtex Factory Outlet


Torrid Plus Sizes

Victorias Secret

alhambra house

once we had racist neighbors not far from here, two brothers—they lived directly across the street from us (we knew they were racists as one had assured me proudly that he had told a “salt and pepper” couple that the house we later rented “had already been rented”)–and when my wife parked in front of their house, the more idiotic one ran out of his front door and screamed abuse at her for parking there; and when i went and knocked on their door shortly thereafter, it was the fatter more duplicitous bastard (who said he was building safety inspector for the city of pasadena) who answered the door, apologizing for his brother, he nonetheless added, “between you and me, my brother has a screw loose, so maybe your wife ought not to park here”—those brothers are like the u.s. and israel











I brood through empty hours of wind like peering through yellow panes of an abandoned storefront.


I hike across the rocks above the one raven reckoning a huge moon would rise through thin clouds like striations of memory.


Early morning at Kelso Depot, a man uses a long arm with a mechanical claw to shift a load of steel rails by the tracks, a man sleeps in his camper shell with his boots jutting out, Kelso Depot is closed but I wash in the restroom and walk in sweet airs of pepper trees.


I eat cans poured over rice, looking out across fifty or 100 miles of valley scrub (U.S. 40 twenty miles to the south), ranges folding into distant haze as if indistinctly recalled.


Fade at reading, fall asleep—finally I pay attention to whatever it was.


I needed to move through empty days without shelter, without shade.


I needed to sit in the front seat in the back, sit in the front seat in the back.


Forgot the toothpaste, found an old toothbrush so I can brush my teeth with nothing. Wash, rusty water from a pump.


Barber Peak looms darkly over the campground of several campfires, families, tents, bus-size RVs at one end and outhouses, Barber Peak riddled with millions of holes, cubbies, flues and caves.


Behind Barber Peak, desiccated cowshit everywhere, gray piles of it, horseshit, road apples falling apart, scuffed hoof prints and tracks of shoes, curlicue of coyote shit on the trail, a jeep trail crossing sandy eroded washes, a fire through here a decade or 2 ago removed Joshua trees blooming in hanging clusters of creamy white blossoms, elsewhere.


Out of the night sky, the tireless wind.


—returning to L.A. from the desert:


Los Angeles Times Festival of Books

Blue Guts,

Black Peeple’s Oil,

Eye Zoom Itemz,

Subcutaneous Tacos,

Blistering Products,

Okay Okay Okay,

Flensing & Marketing,

Stiff Caked Music,

Organic Rapid-flex Weenies,

Grover Washington Juice,

The Red Veins,

Mawkish Pop Youth,

Fatty Eye Cream,

Flowers of Rototiller,

Thanks to Our Customers for 15 Years,

Golf Cart World,

Brown Oil Peeple,

Chili Vibe,

British Psychological Services,

Battling Grief? Hire an Attorney,

Marine Corps Forward Logistical Base,

29 Palms Marine Corps Base,

Purple Stains,

Photo Insemination Practice,

Bright Toggle Diddling,

Vinyl and Aluminum Chronologies,

Expect More From Dog Skin,

Buttery Blood Recycling,

Conformity Markers,

Plausible Bone Tidings,

Gas Sausage Massage,

Face Ribbons,

Exploitation Cap,

Pre-Chewed Divisions,

Balzac Dog Skin,

Coma Leftovers,

Daly City Leftovers,

Fissures of Maternity,

Flank Real Estate,

Accident Victim Sound,

Thin Iffy,

Scrubbed Shag Fleece? Hire an Attorney,

Pocky Prognostications,

Sotomayor Filling,

Prose-Stained Intermediate Care,

Busy Senator Suites,

Paint Thinner,

Mossy Wires,

Drubbing Fog,

Mired Action Collusion and Careers,

Pastel Distrust Estates.












April 2013