because your parties, oblivion and self-pity won’t save you

because your self-editing and claims won’t

because you spent too much time working for money or fleeing it

because they wanted you to

because taxes went to war, killing and the future of war

because you tried that and it didn;t work for you

because you spent a life unable to find joy in the everyday

though it appeared to everyone, your joy  (and lack of it)

because all the money you made and didn’t make went somewhere else

they used it to burn, slaughter, rape and drown it all out with a martial music

and you hated martial music because you knew

self-pity, zen buddhism and alcohol—road map to some failed Salton Sea